A Little At First

It stung a little at first; a petal of pain amongst (endless?)
blooming of love and comfort which allowed immediate forgiveness
when we began
Now I see it was these cracks that in our foundation eroded 
our everything

doomed from the start of that first forgiveness

How did I get here from there I wondered 
from cuddled and loved to 
some hazed and befuddled dud
I wondered where you had gone (or if you existed at all)
Stunned in bittersweet revelation 
that your sweetness was bottled and drugged;
seeking charm you hollowed the vessel.
out loud in front of
i felt your sting
humiliation- as a child punished
in front of others
but in front of her children
was too much

then you apologized

yet added  
post script
and your words deflated
with you
and this which became

His crooked apology
came but with a [caveat] 
He had [been justified]
justifiable actions and words

that stung a little at first


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